“Vanity and happiness are incompatible.”*

So, I have the job of my dreams. Too bad it’s a 40-minute drive away, the pay is insulting, and they won’t give me any hours. Oh, and they just announced that half the staff is being laid off. I was not, but I’m feeling like the last rat on a sinking ship. (To think, I bought a fucking car for this gig!) And so I’ve started applying to new jobs. The current tally is 27. My requirements: learn something, feel somewhat purposeful in my work, make more than minimum wage, not have to deal with any more bodily fluids, and do something not too depressing-sounding. Tomorrow I’m interviewing to be a waiter. This job fulfills exactly one of my requirements.

God, this is humiliating. It’s getting really hard not to compare myself to my young and overly successful engineer friends. Could they at least stop rubbing it in my face? I can’t count the number of times a software engineer has suggested I take up coding. Essentially, they are telling me that the quick payout and posh lifestyle are worth the abandonment of my dreams. DICKS.

*Quotation above by Marquise de Merteuil, Dangerous Liaisons


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