The Different Types Of Pre-Meds You Will Meet

1. The “I’m Different” Pre-Med

These are the pre-meds who major in things like professional baking or being a tennis celebrity. They complete their required science courses and then get out as fast as possible so they can take courses like “Bad Boyz and Bad Gurlz in Contemporary Half-Asian Culture” and create independent studies for things like “Comparative Knitting.” They write their theses on topics like “The Post-Marxist Construction of the Bisexual Transvestite,” and, “The Imaginary Art of Giving Organic Surrealist Manicures.” These people are totally random but they get into every single medical school you applied to and more. Love them, hate them, fear them.

Go-To Conversation Topics: NGOs/ Street Style/ Alpalca Socks/ Anything, Really

Future Specialization: Being Heidi Montag’s Replacement Plastic Surgeon because they forgot to RSVP “yes pls” to their invitation to be US Surgeon General while they were out rock climbing/ being astronaut/ feeding kale to disabled porpoises.

The other four types of pre-meds you will meet, as predicted by Matthew Lin. Brilliant.


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