“If I like him, he’s probably gay.”

Excerpt from White Girl Problems by Babe Walker:

“So, you’ve never wondered what having sex with a girl is like?” I asked, praying that this would inspire him to jump off of his raft and de-virginize me on the spot.

“Yeah, I’ve thought about it. And it weirds me out. I mean, no offense, Babe, but I just don’t have any interest in vaginas. They seem really soft. Too soft for me. The whole vagina thing is just unclear.”

I had a feeling he was playing games with me, so I said, “But if the moment is right, could you be into it?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Maybe. I guess.”

What I heard was “If I’m drunk enough, I will fuck you. P.S. you look superthin in that bikini.”

Hilarious. Read the rest.

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